As the holiday season approaches, each of us steels ourselves for the one thing that causes the most stress, ups the violence statistics, and acts as a trigger for chronic depression episodes – yes, I mean Christmas newsletters.
These seemingly innocuous missives started off innocently enough – little notes to catch you up with friends and family far and near. They have turned into E!News biographies on the unbelievable, incredible, completely unsubstantiated and improbable conquests and successes to rival that of Donald Trump, Bono, Angelina Jolie, and Bill Gates.
We once received a newsletter that was two full pages, single-spaced, 8-point typestyle that regaled us of a litany of activities that would take two lifetimes to complete, much less 12 months since the last bulletin. I didn’t leave the house for three days.
I try to be happy for others and their accomplishments, really I do; but I find myself looking for chinks in the armor. Their kid’s a straight-A student? I’ll bet he doesn’t have any friends. They’ve travelled to Europe? Probably picked up a bug that hasn’t surfaced yet. Ran a half-marathon? Oh, too lazy for a full marathon? Loser!
But in the spirit of the season, I’m going to try to take the high road and express my joy at my friends’ good fortune – right after I untangle these $%^*%^&% Christmas lights!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
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