Female Football

I know this is likely to send the women’s movement back to pre-suffrage status, but risking all that, I’m just going to say it: I do not like listening to a woman football commentator.

I don’t know if I am secretly jealous that this woman is an insider with access to such privileged information such as “I just spoke with Brett Favre, and he said it is vital that the Vikings get off to a fast start in this game,” or the fact that, I don’t know, I simply do not believe she knows anything at all about football.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are women out there that truly enjoy the strategy of football and follow it as eagerly as a Labrador retriever waiting for a doggie biscuit. But these women do not look like the one on the TV talking to me right now. Take that camera and pan the spectators. That’s what a woman looks like who really follows football. She looks a lot like her husband or boyfriend who follows football. A bit husky, dressed sensibly for the weather, drinking a beer with team colors painted somewhere on her face or body.

She does not look like the perfectly coiffed, Burberry clad Barbie wannabe speaking so authoritatively from the field. Oh, she may have access to the players, but trust me honey, the only football plays they are talking to her about are after the final buzzer has sounded, if you know what I mean.

So I say, put these true female fans on the field and let them tell me about the game. At least when they are talking, I would (for a short time at least) be able to get the attention of my own husband.